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Sunday, May 4, 2008

Letter from the new Editor

It is an honor and a challenge to become the Editor in Chief of such a prestigious and well-regarded paper. I’m delighted to be able to continue working with the talented staff that works hard to bring you fresh news every day.

Today is the beginning of a new era for the Daily Prophet. We are giving the paper you have always loved a fresh start. We are growing because we want to bring you more of those things you love to read. We are renovating the paper to respond to your expectations.

I want to invite the readers to send us suggestions and comments. This is not our paper but your paper and we want to make of it what you want it to be. Have an important event? Watching an interesting scene? Send us an owl and we’ll be happy to send someone from our team. Wherever the story is, it’s there where we want to be.

I’ll be looking forward to hear from you.
Enjoy the news!

Rowena Rendelstein
Editor in Chief

Little Miss Lynch, the shining star of the Slytherin Team

Slytherin vs Hufflepuff was one incredibly exciting match. The hufflepuffs did all they could, they fought hard to keep scoring but they just didn’t have a player to match the talent of Miss Ciara Lynch. This little Slytherin is only a first year but flies like a professional. Keep that name in mind because I think we will hear amazing things about her ability in the future. If she keeps training hard she could be joining our national team even before she graduates. She was the star of the game. Her fans didn’t stop cheering her until the match was over.

The Slytherins were having a wonderful time celebrating and the infuriated Hufflepuffs shared their frustration with the world by yelling things that showed how impressed they were with the talent little Miss Lynch showed at the pitch.

At 2:47 the game was standing 80 to 270 when the amazingly fast, Dea Thnote, caught the snitch, leaving the score at 420 to 80.

Congratulations Slytherin!

Overworkerd Teachers at Hogwarts?

Some teachers at Hogwarts seemed to be so dedicated to their jobs that they seem to be losing their minds. Several members of the staff have been seen around Hogsmeade in embarrassing situations that compromise the image of the school.

Professor Floreana Writer has been seen falling asleep everywhere, looking pale and thin and walking bare feet around town. A couple of students say they have seen her sleeping on the floor of the Three Broomsticks and her own niece admitted she has been acting different and she has forgotten she has to teach in a couple of occasions.

Our team will keep you informed about this situation. We don’t know yet what is happening with this teacher. Some rumors say she just hasn’t been able to get over her sister’s death.

We visited her cousin Penterghast Salmson at his Manor in Edinburgh and he laughed at the rumors. He said “My cousin has no heart; she doesn’t care about anyone but herself and the Slytherin house. She’s all about pride and knowledge. She might be going crazy, feeling guilty, she has no feelings and her soul is ripped”.
Mr. Salmson refused to explain his statement. We don’t know what he meant but we will find out and keep you informed.

Writer doesn’t seem to be the only teacher that is loosing her head. Students have seen the Headmaster coming back to the castle looking disheveled. He was once heard commenting that “he had been dragged through a hedge backwards”. He has also been seen leaving the castle in traveling clothes with a broom in his hand and then apparating elsewhere.
Is the Hogwarts Headmaster loosing his head as well?

Hogwarts Must Be Latin for Chaos

By Anquvin Aluveaux
Student Intern

When I walked through those profoundly famous gates of academia 6 months ago I was giddy with pride to attend the same institution as my father, his father and his father’s. Well you get the point. I made friends fast and loved all of my classes. This term things have changed. Our beloved school is going to hell in a hand basket (a muggle term I learned in muggle studies.)
Let’s start with the students: Seriously, they must be passing out acceptance letters at the same youth correctional facility they sent Justify Darkstone to. Students are openly defying authority at Hogwarts. The Great Hall was turned into some kind of swamp several weeks ago. First year students were being taken to Hospital Ward after drinking fire whiskey while other students were going crazy with Dung bomb fights in the Great Hall.
No one seems to care about the study of magic any more. Students are more interested in throwing dung at Professors.
It seems like no one cares about the fine traditions of our prestigious School anymore.
My advice to students:
Stop breaking rules just because! Maybe only throw dung or firecrackers once a month instead of everyday. Stop arguing with the Deputy Headmasters and Professors. This is easier to do then you think. When a professor tells you to do something just do it. Even if you disagree do it. Have some pride in your School.
Now speaking about professors:Several weeks ago Professor Archan attempted to murder a college in the middle of the Great Hall. Anywhere else in the world you could be sent to Azkaban for that, but at Hogwarts, you get promoted to head disciplinarian.

But that is not all, Archan and the New potions Professor pointed their wands at the Deputy Headmaster to prevent him from sending an insane student to St. Mungos.
New teachers dress in a way that doesn’t honor Hogwarts tradition. They openly defy the more experienced faculty. How can students be expected to act properly when the professors do not set a proper example?
I still love Hogwarts and there are a few great teachers here. I just feel Hogwarts has changed. Please bring it back!
This commentary is the personal observation of the reporter and is not the opinion of the Daily Prophet

Explosive Cauldrons in Canada

The Canadian Department of Magical accidents and Catastrophes had a really busy night yesterday. Early in the evening they received several reports about a massive show of fireworks coming from a small town near Brandon, Manitoba.

During the first two hours, the ministry ignored the reports thinking it could be a muggle celebration taking place in Elm Creek. Hours passed and owls kept coming, it was almost midnight when ministry workers finally went to Brandon to inspect the zone. They did not find a celebration or fireworks, just a witch going mad, brewing different potions in thirty-five cauldrons at the same time.

Bad quality cauldrons and a bad mix of ingredients caused an accident that thanks to the arrival of ministry workers didn’t result in tragedy. The cauldrons exploded and kept shooting a substance that created what looked like Bengal lights decorating the sky. The house was burning, neighbors were watching and the old witch kept using one spell and another trying to control the situation and things went worse every time she tried to fix things.

Muggles were scared and confused staring at the scene when another house went on fire. The whole town panicked and things seemed to be getting out of hand, but the talented team of wizards solved the situation in less than forty minutes. They had to modify a few memories and repair some damaged houses. Luckily no one reported unusual activities in the local muggle news; they only mentioned a mentally unstable old woman that seemed to be lost, scaring everyone in town. The ministry is investigating the origin of the cauldrons that clearly didn’t meet the international regulations. The old witch was taken to the local hospital and she might be facing some consequences that can go from a fine of over one thousand Galleons to a few months in prison.

CLASSIFIEDS

WORK WITH US!
Are you perfectionist, persuasive, hard working and willing to work on a deadline? Interested in an exciting career as a photographer, reporter or writer? If you think you have what it takes to join our team send an owl to our Editor in Chief, Rowena Rendelstein, to request an interview.


HOGWARTS IS HIRING!

APPLY TODAY!

Assistant Senior Librarian ~ Contact Feisty Lotus directly.

Caretakers & Groundskeepers ~ Contact any Senior Faculty.

Senior Secretary ~ Contact Headmaster Shalinoth Kitsune directly.

Male Counsellor ~ Apply to Kelly Alexander. ((Innocence Fitzgerald))

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Academic Vacancies [Professors]:

The following positions require an in-depth knowledge of the field of study, though not necessarily the grades on paperwork to back it up. Much can be learned outside the walls of an institute of learning, for which the proof is in the pudding as they say. Our application process will wittle out the inept from the adept, and is as follows. You will write a formal letter to the relevant member of faculty stating your preferred position[s], any relevant qualifications or experiences, and a personal statement which explains why you would be suitable for the role.

Supplementary positions will be in addition to currently running classes, and will be more difficult to obtain. In order for us to hire someone for these roles the applicant must bring something rather special to the position. Perhaps you have a particularly interesting angle from which you approach the subject. Or your personal experiences in the realm of study are unique or numerous.


Supplementary Arithmancy Professor.

Supplementary Charms Professor.

Supplementary Transfigurations Professor.

Supplementary Care of Creatures Professor.

Supplementary Herbology Professor.

Supplementary Ancient Runes Professor.


Until further notice, for all current academic vacancies apply to Headmaster Shalinoth Kitsune, who may then ask another member of Faculty to conduct your interview and inform him of your performance. Hogwarts reserves the right to refuse applications without reason, but will endeavour to at least respond to every inquiry. Thank you in advance to anyone applying.