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Monday, December 10, 2007

Concerns About Safety

London, England Dec 7-The Ministry of Magic has been inundated with Owls questioning the safety and security at Hogwarts School of Wizards and Witchcraft from concerned parents.

Mrs. Melina Karvas wrote, "Hogwarts has always been the safest place for our children to be. Even when there were threats from both inside and outside of the castle, I wasn't worried for our young people. I know they were alright. After what my daughter is telling me now I'm no longer so sure..."

Mr. Tobias Raindorff sent, "After I received me son's owl about the bleedin' [sorting] hat's disappearing and him seein' Centaurs roamin' the Castle, I'm thinkin' of callin' him home. I could give him a righter safer education here with me."

When asked, a Ministry spokes person stated, "That while there was an incident at start of term, we are sure that was a one time happenstance, and that all the students are still in very capable hands."

Here are the Daily Prophet believe, as the Ministry states, that these views of concerned parents are unfairly grounded. There is no mortal peril for any of these young, impressionable students, and the powers to be in the administrations of Hogwarts have all well in hand.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Hogwarts Students and Ministry staff save the day!

It has recently emerged that the Sorting Hat of Hogwarts, prized relic of Hogwarts School, was dramatically stolen from under the very noses of the whole school during a tremendously exciting Sorting ceremony.

After its usual sing song, it added a few more words about something called 'The Eye of the Hippogriff' before disappearing into thin air. Needless to say there was a huge degree of fuss and alarm.

After an extensive search of the castle itself and its grounds, no trace of the Hat could be found. By this stage brave volunteers from the Ministry had arrived to aid the new Headmaster, Kitsume, a decent chap by all accounts.

A group of brave and intrepid students braved the Forbidden Forest and while they never found the actual Hat itself, emerged muddy, breathlessly and grinning."That was FUN!" said one, while at least one other used the chance to race around the forest (excellent spot for Quidditch practice).

Junior Undersecutary to the Minister of Magic, Mr. Danton Thirroul (32, single, heir to the Thirroul fortunes) said, "A wonderful example of the bravery and ingenuity of the students of Hogwarts. Some 'modern' Wizards turn into a bunch of old grannies about the students, worrying that they could hurt themselves playing in the trees Stuff and nonsense! Generations of students have survived those woods. Never left any of us, whats that silly little Muggle word they sue- 'traumatized'".

Later, the Prophet can exclusively reveal that it was indeed a student who found Sorting Hat somewhere in Hogsmeade- a young first year of all things- only a few hours after her sorting! The young girl, who is said to have only just arrived in Britain, is said to be a Ravenclaw of all things. speaking exclusively she is reported to have said, "I am very happy to have been allowed to help my new friends like this."

Sources within the Ministry have confirmed that the "Eye of the Hippogriff" was a relic that was until recently located in the department of mysteries. Artemis Huntington, Head of the Department, has offered her resignation over the whole matter, and the Minister has sadly accepted the offer.

Reported by: Staff Writer

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