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Sunday, June 8, 2008

EVIL PROFESSOR REMOVED FROM HOGWARTS

by Nirvella Montauk

Professor Claudius Archan, the blood-tyrant accused of burning a student and mutilating innocent children's familiars, has finally been dismissed by Shalinoth Kitsune and the Board of Governors.I, for one, am glad to see that the Headmaster has finally come to his senses! Our children need discipline, but there is never a need for such violence!As a proud parent of two Hogwarts students, I am relieved to see measures are being taken to keep our children safe! The Board of Governors and the Minister himself are finally stepping in to give the school guidance.Headmaster Kitsune, I applaud your acceptance of their care and guidance, and I can only hope to see what other improvements the school will no doubt see.When asked for comment, Archan replied "Truthfully, I'm relieved; I wash my hands of the school. Someone else can attempt to repair what [...] has shattered."The school and our community, Former Professor Archan, has washed its hands of you as well.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

*A midnight navy raven brings you tidings, a black glossy envelope sealed with a purple wax monogram*

For the attention of the Daily Prophet,

I am going on the hopeful assumption that you are in no way affiliated with the views and beliefs expressed in the editorials you publish, but I would have hoped from a quality operation, such as the Daily Prophet runs, that you would have staff members assigned to ensuring that your newspaper is not facilitating falsehoods bordering on slander.

Whilst I cannot speak for former professor Archan, I can and will speak for myself. I had no part in the dismissal of this man, nor was I vacant from my senses as your editorial contributor sought to claim.

If you don't mind, I know my -own- mind. And its faculties of reason are fully intact, they were fully intact before and continue to be fully operational after the accomplished academic was dismissed without my counsel.

Your inclusion of this editorial commentary is greatly appreciated, and will go a long way towards reassuring any readers who may now wonder about the integrity of thee most widely recognised and respected wizarding periodical.

Sincerely Yours,
Headmaster S.L.Kitsune.

*Elaborately Monogrammed*
~S L K~

Anonymous said...

Was there a trail?
Did the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement convene a jury of his peers to decide if the allegations were accurate?
Or did he act like the ex-Auror that he is- war scarred and injured, taking the law into his own hands?

Could it be that failing to find enough evidence to get a prosecution,the Head of Magical Law Enforcement decides to get himself the board so as to pursue his vendetta?
One wonders...

*A concerned witch (who hides her identity to protect herself from vengeful Wizards)

Anonymous said...

Hear hear!

Get that scum out of Hogwarts, I say!